GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
