Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
