I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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