well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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