Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
