where am i from again
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
