we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
