I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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