dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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