it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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