I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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