It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize