we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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