i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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