i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
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found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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