i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
