Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
