garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
