I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
