I think my vagina is haunted
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
