I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
