You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
