I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Randomize
