i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I am naked and annoyed.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
