either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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