Heybabeimwearingurpanties
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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