i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
