I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I am naked and annoyed.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
