Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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