It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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