C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.