Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.