Texts From Last Night

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  (631): View more from New York

  Can you return condoms to CVS?

  (516): View more from New York

  Only if you return your pride as well.

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  (631): Can you return condoms to CVS? (516): Only if you return your pride as well. http://tfl.nu/vx1b
  Replies (32) Good night (819) Bad night (3751)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?

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  (519): so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out? http://tfl.nu/i75k
  Replies (15) Good night (2354) Bad night (734)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees

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  (360): He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees http://tfl.nu/gf2k
  Replies (19) Good night (5033) Bad night (2817)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.

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  (215): Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked. http://tfl.nu/7s06
  Replies (31) Good night (4197) Bad night (2071)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover

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  (847): I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover http://tfl.nu/981k
  Replies (7) Good night (2766) Bad night (1015)
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  (289): View more from Ontario

  Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.

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  (289): Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger. http://tfl.nu/9mbe
  Replies (17) Good night (5538) Bad night (1095)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers

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  (617): His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers http://tfl.nu/2b5k
  Replies (9) Good night (1875) Bad night (1045)
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  (415): View more from California

  Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon

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  (415): Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon http://tfl.nu/mt9v
  Replies (2) Good night (691) Bad night (1225)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.

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  (540): Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived. http://tfl.nu/ouvr
  Replies (8) Good night (2710) Bad night (701)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit

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  (910): i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit http://tfl.nu/ocpj
  Replies (18) Good night (4194) Bad night (869)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard

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  (780): I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard http://tfl.nu/fp3r
  Replies (7) Good night (934) Bad night (568)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.

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  (814): His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place. http://tfl.nu/wrqc
  Replies (13) Good night (649) Bad night (1571)
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  (386): View more from Florida

  Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.

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  (386): Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together. http://tfl.nu/96ms
  Replies (3) Good night (843) Bad night (398)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.

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  (509): The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by. http://tfl.nu/ohjn
  Replies (3) Good night (773) Bad night (348)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole

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  (717): I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole http://tfl.nu/gmo5
  Replies (2) Good night (385) Bad night (110)

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