some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
