Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
