I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.