Where is the hickey?
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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