Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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