i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
