I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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