awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize
