That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
