Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I'm going to jail i love you
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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