if you like me you must not know who I am
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
