none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
