I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
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you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
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hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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