It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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