I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
