The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
