Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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