And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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