i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
