Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
