im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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