I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
