When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
He passed out mid-signature
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
