I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
you had me at cake vodka
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
