Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I AM VODKA MAN
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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