Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
