last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize